Wednesday 16 January 2013

It's Good For You!!


My first thought was that it must be some kind of joke or wind-up. Time and again I’ve asked why it’s necessary to sell a landscape to the people who own it unless you’re afraid that those same people need to be told what its value is – or you’re afraid they may have different ideas to your own. It came via email:
"As promised, please find attached, the first draft of the Eastern Moors Spirit of Place, or put more simply, the ‘Special Qualities’ of the Eastern Moors.  Getting the special qualities statement right is really important. It will lay the foundations for the way we look at visitor experience across the site.  It will be a statement under which we will carry out our work, ensuring that we strive to respect and celebrate the special qualities of the Eastern Moors."
Good landscape, like anything attractive, doesn’t need promoting. Follow link. Good landscape speaks for itself. The problem with the Eastern Moors is that so much of it is utterly dreary and that only those who resist it becoming beautiful – which it would if they only stopped interfering – need to bamboozle the public into thinking it’s not what they thought on their last visit. So they go in for gushing promotional copy, doubtless devoting hours of office time to this cringe inducing activity which could be devoted to patrolling the hills and dealing with problems.  

The reason for this exercise is that managers have to justify their insistence on maintaining the status quo because the genuinely worthwhile alternative needs less input from them - and would be criticised by the shooting industry and their friends high up in the land lobby - from Natural England to the government. One thing, of many, they never get right, is that they don't know how to, or don't want, the views of those who don't like the moors. The views they get are predictable because their consultees are self selecting.

Marketing hype is everywhere and utterly depressing. Sometimes you can laugh at it but in this case weary embarrassment seems the right reaction.

Similar hype you can laugh at comes from the claims made by those selling products from the deer farm in New Zealand. Apparently deer velvet is sold as a 'health supplement' and benefits include the following claims:

"Boost Strength
Increase Endurance
Anti-Aging
Reduce or Slow Signs of Aging
Improve Immune System
Reduce Stress
Accelerated Illness Recovery
Improve Athletic Performance"

It can also relieve, so we hear:

High Blood Pressure
Arthritis
Overactive Bladder

But wait, it doesn't stop there. This wonderful material will do much more for you, including making dramatic changes to your:

Male Sexual Performance
Erectile Dysfunction
Increase Interest In Sexual Activity
Increase Sex Hormones

Perhaps the local conservation outfits will soon be telling us that sexual performance is significantly improved by a visit to the local moors.  Nothing would surprise me. Boredom is said to be a spur to many things.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your link to boredom is just so funny and the one to deer velvet as well are just soooo funny!!!